LOCKDOWN

“LOCKDOWN”, a daring collaboration between Hemp Wizard Beard Care Co. and the heavy metal titans, Dead Silent. This beard oil is a dark, fruity symphony, blending the sweet and tangy notes of strawberry, blueberry, cherry, pineapple, red apple, peach, mulberry, and raspberry.

The carrier blend is a powerhouse mix of Sweet Almond Oil, Avocado Oil, Castor Oil, Coconut Oil, Jojoba Oil, Grapeseed Oil, Hemp Seed Oil, and Blue Dream Terpenes, ensuring your beard is not only nourished but also exudes an aura of mystery and intensity.

Perfect for the modern man who embraces the shadows and thrives in the night, “LOCKDOWN” is more than just a beard oil—it’s a statement. Unleash your inner beast and let your beard tell the tale of your untamed spirit.

Satirical Usage Instructions:

Step 1: Lock yourself in a dimly lit room. Ambiance is key.

Step 2: Apply a few drops of “LOCKDOWN” to your palm. Pretend you’re concocting a batch of prison wine, using only the finest ingredients smuggled in.

Step 3: Rub your hands together like an inmate crafting the perfect hooch in a hidden corner of the cellblock.

Step 4: Massage the oil into your beard with the intensity of a heavy metal guitar solo, as if you’re blending the ultimate jailhouse brew.

Step 5: Stare into the mirror and practice your best “I just survived the apocalypse” look, channeling the spirit of a seasoned cellblock vintner.

Step 6: Unlock the door and step out, ready to conquer the world with your epic beard, as if you just brewed the finest batch of cellblock vino.